Toast Poast II

Drawing by Jackie Shaffer

Why is toast so pleasing?

Anticipation is a large part of pleasure, is it not? Watching the faintest hint of glow on the coils before they turn hell-red hot. The timer tick, tick, ticks.

Although, if bread transformed to toast in warp time, it would still taste as good. I had a roommate who used to spread peanut butter on her toast hard, spreading, spreading, spreading, with vigor and endurance. Took me months to risk interrupting her concentration to ask why. She was mixing the crumbs in with the peanut butter for texture. Yes, toast is synonymous with texture.

If you are in need of toaster ephemera The Toaster Museum Foundation is your dream destination.

Personally, I am a sucker for toaster anything. When I die, there will be a sad shelf at the Goodwill covered with all my tiny toasters. Probably with green (.49) tags. I saw someone’s frog collection there. Now, isn’t that what kids are for? To kindly pitch your knick-knacks and salvage your post-mortem pride.