Well, I’m A Long Tall Turkey

• A spatchcocked turkey going upright?! “I am looking for verticality”, said my editor. Only he could use that word and compel me to add it to my vocabulary. My vocabulary has been verticalized by him. I am a taller woman for it. “Some height in the holiday table landscape,” he said. “Ai yiiee yiiee”, I mumbled. 
• No bones about it, this turkey used to be flat. Not as flat as roadkill, but flat. Some people call it butterflied, but it was not anywhere near that dainty. 
• They cook fast this way and fast means juicy. And juicy means the leftovers are worth leaving over. Over to the left in my fridge Thursday night? Turkey, cranberry sauce, crunchy lettuce, mayonnaise. Bread around here somewheres, waiting for its calling. I’ll be down around 11, once my appetite picks up. 
• Just in case you’d actually like to read the recipes below: Butterflied Turkey and all the sides.
• And, if your turkey makes it to day 2 or 3 or 4, you may need to call in The Rick’s Picks Enhanced Condiment Utilization Task Force to rescue your leftover Thanksgiving turkey from the dark nether regions of your refrigerator.

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