I have been set straight. Thank Saint Earl-of-Wich I lived long enough to see improvements on these essential quotidian tasks.
Other things I am doing wrong:
1. Putting on nylon stockings. My mother always put on a pair of white cotton gloves before slipping her foot into a stocking and shimmying it up her leg. I don’t have any white cotton gloves.
2. Um…gee….
That’s it. We must be perfect around here. Please don’t poke any holes in our delusion. That would just be wrong.
The Lunch Encounter 