Pardon me, there is a piece of toast stuck to the ceiling. Thanks hundreds to Mike Rhode of ComicsDC for the fabulous paper and electronic clipping services!
Aaaw. What a girl. What the heck is she hugging? Her macbook? What a smart girl. Inanimate objects offer such steady love. It’s all projection, you know, like the sun and the moon. One glows and one reflects. Girls glow and their stuff reflects.
Boys glow too, of course, but most would not be caught alive and living in toast mitts. A toast muff, I’m thinking, would be swell for clandestine hand holding, hold the butter.
Toast muff. Think of that.
Is there life after breakfast? Yes there is! Yes there is!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyq_5ph_-rc
“I am sick of the phrase first-world problems not just because it delegitimizes the perfectly real problems of those of us lucky enough to have enough to eat and Internet access, but because it denies the same stupid trivial human worries to people who arent. Are you not entitled to existential angst or tedium vitae if you live in Chad must you always nobly suffer traditional third-world problems like malaria and coups détat? If were lucky, we graduate to increasingly complex and better problems, and once all our material needs are satisfied we get to confront the insoluble problem of being a person in the world.
Even if we someday solve all our societal problems, people will still be unlucky in love, lonesome and bored, lie awake worrying about the future and regretting stupid things they did and wondering whether its all even worth it. Utopia will have an unendurable amount of hassles to deal with, endless forms to fill out, apathetic bureaucrats, taxes, ads and bad weather. Time will still pass without mercy.”
Time will pass without mercy. Yes, there is life after breakfast and it is called lunch.
Thank you, Suits-Herself-Cindy for introducing me to Tim Kreider.
Joan says two minutes will do. She’s fast at 120 seconds and you better believe her toast was fabulous to the f. To her instructions I would add: You might fluff your feather mules 
or adjust your peignoir 
while waiting for the toast to pop.
The Huffington Post chimed in with, Rivers also took the time to point out that in the event of a “holiday or special occasion,” raisin bread could be substituted for the white bread, in which the recipe name would then change to “Joan Rivers’ Holiday Toast.”
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”
Joan Rivers
You turn my bread into buttered toast, Joan, and we will miss you terribly.
Thank you, B of Cafe Clementine, for the dopamine uptick, as always. You turn our bread into pecan-studded sticky rolls and you are the funniest girl we know.
It’s the twenty-fir$t century and we must all ri$e to $elf-actualization if we wanna $tay current. I’m hip to that. Be your be$t, toa$ted-and-$ea$oned $elf. In the name of engendering truly authentic envy, DIY it. Toa$t afficionado$, fire up your bread oven$!
And, if in doubt, add $alt.
How to Make Toa$t So A*e$*m* You Can Charge $4 a $lice
According to Josey Baker of The Mill in San Francisco, “There’s plenty of people doing toast now, [but] most of them aren’t making the bread themselves. It’s a really critical piece of the puzzle as far as we’re concerned.”
And while The Mill was not the first to create a thick-sliced, Nutella-topped piece of artisanal toast, Baker and his crew have certainly perfected the art. The one caveat? The thing some people can’t get over? That coveted slice can run you upwards of $4.
“Hipster Toast,” as the phenomenon is being called by outraged and genuinely befuddled media outlets, has taken San Francisco by storm, with iterations at bakeries and cafés around the city.
Bring on the hip$ters, $ay$ I, but plea$e leave any mention of the verb “do” out of it. Don’t wanna do toa$t, thank you anyway.
Quality Hyper-Local Cartooning
“I have two words for you,” said Elle Kasey, “Artisanal Toast.”
Barbara and Liz sent links with urgent notes as well.
Two words: READ THIS
Read and be amazed. Gorgeousness.
How did toast become the latest artisanal food craze?
It has officially become too late for me to get a toast tattoo. Medium or dark? Butter or jam?
“Generously”, ha ha. The Toaster Museum Foundation generously took about two dozen old toasters off my hands. The house was filling up.
Letter from the Toaster Museum Foundation President:
The Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn has acquired the entire collection of The Toaster Museum Foundation and they will stay largely together although we are uncertain when they will have the toasters ready for public viewing. Additionally the Henry Ford has committed to preserving the Internet resource toaster.org, which has so well served researchers and students over the years.
The Toaster Museum has attracted a great deal of press coverage over the years – from mentions on Garrison Keillor’s, “A Prairie Home Companion” and the Oprah Winfrey Show to radio interviews around the globe to being featured in magazines as diverse as “Saveur” and Russian “Elle” – and we are gratified that the public will now have the opportunity to see this unique collection in person.
We are toast-devouring sheeple (as opposed to “toast devouring sheeple”) and I love us for it.
I can’t really explain what my alma mater is up to but I had to share the logo, and the acronym, for this botanical/space research coming out of UW! Not to mention that Prof. Gilroy looks like he came to Madison in the swinging 60’s and never left. Plants in space!!!
The Gilroy Lab experiment growing plants in microgravity is scheduled to fly via Space X’s Dragon/F9 to the International Space Station (ISS) in March 2013. A number of plant scientists interested in testing their hypotheses in microgravity submitted proposals to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) in the spring of 2012, and in June 2012 we were fortunate to be selected for funding following review by a NASA grant panel.
It can be a challenge to design an ISS experiment with the highest chance of success, given the constraints of the container size to be flown and minimal level of astronaut involvement. This limited capacity necessitates careful planning to ensure the inclusion of proper controls and enough replicates for robust statistical analysis of results. Arabidopsis (thale cress, or mouse-ear cress) is the plant we will use for our experiment, due to its small size and our extensive knowledge of its physiology and genetics thanks to decades of Arabidopsis research by the plant biology community.
Posted in Toast Poast
Not so very long ago we spent an afternoon at AwesomeConDC, something I could have NEVER foreseen pre-parent-of-a-son-hood, and ran into Liz and Jimmy Reed of Cuddles and Rage, a “disturblingly cute comic”.
Food + comics? We find that combo funny and find ourselves disturbed by overuse of the word cute. “Isn’t that just so cute?” is a phrase kiboshed long ago by my all-knowing teen. As for cuddles and rage? Both are embraced, absorbed, resisted and vaporized in this toasty household. I’ll take the cuddles and forgive the rage.
While Scott Suchman takes pictures that will be put in Cathal Armstong‘s upcoming book from Ten Speed Press, I hover around the perimeter, pressing napkins, snatching toasted buttered brioche on the sly, running paces between the kitchen and the set, moving food from plate to plate to plate, marveling at Chef Armstrong‘s immense skill and talent. I also managed to scarf the lion’s share of a teetering tower of spiced beef and butter sandwiches.
Occasionally I take a snapshot of the sidelines, especially when something looks as pretty as this leftover toast and jam.
In July the two men – three actually because Eammon Armstrong, that lucky boy, is accompanying them – will be in Ireland, seeing, eating and recording food and the makings of food. We shall see what they collect when the book appears in print. Bound to be beautiful.
DIY Paper Toaster by Tinkerbot on Etsy
This listing is for a DIY printable paper toaster. Assembly is required!
I got one. From where I sit with scissors and glue, life’s irresistible imperatives are often ephemeral, fleeting amusement, a dopamine kick. It’s a matter of connect-the-dots to get yourself through the day, the week, the year, the life. And you got to do it yourself.
Posted in Toast Poast, Toasters
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The Lunch Encounter 