Category Archives: Toasters

Toast Poast Number 1926

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“Make electric helpers do all your tiresome, beauty-consuming tasks.”

— Ad for General Electric appliances, 1920s

Because, yeah, I have other things to do, like a big, fat nothing, like looking at the sky, like cutting herbs and smelling the shears, like sitting in the sun.

What hath toast wrought?

Could I get some help over here? My beauty is at threat of being consumed.

Me! Me! Me!

  1. Bring my tiara.
  2. Turn my bread into buttered toast.
  3. Tell me something funny.
  4. Look deep into my eyes and lie to me about myself.
  5. Read to me from Billy Collins.

The Dead
Billy Collins

The dead are always looking down on us,
they say,
while we are putting on our shoes or making a sandwich,
they are looking down through the glass-bottom boats,
of heaven as they row themselves slowly through eternity.
They watch the tops of our heads moving below on earth,
And when we lie down in a field or on a couch,
Drugged perhaps by the hum of a warm afternoon,
They think we are looking back at them,
which makes them lift their oars and fall silent and wait,
like parents,
for us to close our eyes

In other, more prosaic words, “enjoy every sandwich”.

Toast Poast Number: “Two Words”

Screen Shot 2014-01-21 at 8.24.01 AM Quality Hyper-Local Cartooning

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“I have two words for you,” said Elle Kasey, “Artisanal Toast.”
Barbara and Liz sent links with urgent notes as well.

Two words: READ THIS

Read and be amazed. Gorgeousness.

How did toast become the latest artisanal food craze?

Screen Shot 2014-01-21 at 8.28.50 AM It has officially become too late for me to get a toast tattoo. Medium or dark? Butter or jam?

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“Generously”, ha ha. The Toaster Museum Foundation generously took about two dozen old toasters off my hands. The house was filling up.

Letter from the Toaster Museum Foundation President:

The Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn has acquired the entire collection of The Toaster Museum Foundation and they will stay largely together although we are uncertain when they will have the toasters ready for public viewing. Additionally the Henry Ford has committed to preserving the Internet resource toaster.org, which has so well served researchers and students over the years.

The Toaster Museum has attracted a great deal of press coverage over the years – from mentions on Garrison Keillor’s, “A Prairie Home Companion” and the Oprah Winfrey Show to radio interviews around the globe to being featured in magazines as diverse as “Saveur” and Russian “Elle” – and we are gratified that the public will now have the opportunity to see this unique collection in person.

We are toast-devouring sheeple (as opposed to “toast devouring sheeple”) and I love us for it.

Toast Poast Number 2.5×1.25×2.5

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DIY Paper Toaster by Tinkerbot on Etsy

This listing is for a DIY printable paper toaster. Assembly is required!

I got one. From where I sit with scissors and glue, life’s irresistible imperatives are often ephemeral, fleeting amusement, a dopamine kick. It’s a matter of connect-the-dots to get yourself through the day, the week, the year, the life. And you got to do it yourself.

Howdy, Snerds!

 
 
 

.

Encounterables, Lunchables, Inventables, Tables! Let’s eat!

InVenTabLEs

Thank you PaT.

I say we all put on a transparent apron, get under our Hard Day’s Night umbrellas and shoot toast outta these things at anything that moves.

Toast Poast Number 100 Billion

The old is new again. I think it was always new. I think the old is news.

Atomic Warehouse
atomicwarehouse
Art deco porcelain SAMMICH TOASTER
sammichtoastersammichtoaster2

The hardest kind of thinking is thinking about thinking.

Metamemory=something to do with memory self-monitoring

Meta cognition=knowing about knowing

Psycho cognition = knowing how much you don’t know

Huh? cognition = wondering how you can  know how much you don’t know

Toasto cognition = knowing how much of your former knowledge is toasted

Toast Poast Number WE HAVE A WINNER!!


If you lean close and squint, you will see that the toast reads:

Dear Paula,

I am pleased to announce that you are the WINNER of the Sticky Fingers contest. You and a guest will be spending the evening of March 1, 2012 with Doron Petersan at Sixth and I.

Congratulations! Well done.

Are we out of butter?

xo
Snack

Food porn? Design porn? Food porn? Design porn?