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Toast Poast Number 13,1,12,3,15,12,13 (MALCOLM)

POP ART PRINTING TOASTER

Toast. What can be more boring… More mundane… More ho-hum than a piece of toast? Well, not anymore thanks to the this amazingly creative product takes your common piece of white bread and turns it into a crunchy work of art.

The Pop Art Toaster comes with six different templates, allowing you to create six different works of toast art. You get: DOUBLE HEARTS, SNOW FLAKE, FLOWER, BIRTHDAY CAKE, LUV U, and HAVE A NICE DAY FACE.

It has all the features you would want for a normal toaster, too. You can set the levels, defrost frozen food, and remove crumbs with the handy crumb tray. It’s UL approved and has a 1-Year warrantee.

And if you’re not in the playful mood, you can even make ordinary toast with it.

If we are gonna talk about art, we have to talk about luvin-u with a warrantee. Can’t see a have-a-nice-day-face way around IT. Haven’t seen “amazingly creative” and “product” strung along in the same sentence prior to this amazingly creative product which takes your common piece of white bread (I beg your pardon. Bread, even the most common piece, is a miracle just waiting for a toaster to appear) and turns it into a crunchy work of art. I think this begs a heated, as hot as toast, discussion of craft versus art.

Just the Sandwich Facts, Ma’am,

yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup

This just in from the Sublime Miss M whose latest editing coup was just unveiled, The Encyclopedia of Jewish Food.

Sandwich Trends: Updating an American Staple

NEW YORK, NY–(Marketwire – September 7, 2010) – Sandwiches aren’t just an important part of the American diet; they are essential to it.

“The role of sandwiches in people’s lives is huge,” says Kimberly Egan, CEO of CCD. “It makes sense that redefined sandwiches reflect the same values consumers are embracing in their lives.”

These values include supporting artisan and sustainable food production, eating more seasonally and nutritionally, and celebrating regional and global foods and flavors.

Today’s top sandwich trends include:

The “Fine Fast” Sandwich Shop: Gourmet sandwich shops helmed by chefs feature high-quality, artisan and locally source ingredients along with a wide range of house-made condiments and toppings.

The Asian Sandwich Invasion: Chinese bao sandwiches and Vietnamese bahn mi are crossing over and attracting adventurous eaters craving new flavors.

The Reinvented Jewish Deli: Traditional delis are re-inventing themselves with more sustainable and ethical raw ingredients.

Glamorous Grilled Cheese: This American classic is getting an overhaul with artisan bread and cheese plus sophisticated flavorings.

The Great Sandwich Shop Takeover: Fast-casual sandwich and bakery chains are innovating with more healthful offerings, global flavor profiles and even some local ingredients.

Pulled Pork Sandwiches and Better Burgers: While the North Carolina classic goes national, the beloved burger explodes with new styles of beef, a variety of tasty buns and a host of exotic toppings.

yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup

Did Somebody Say “Poutine”??

Thank you Sorry-Birds Ellen!

Who’s got time to work when there are food trucks to chase?

Wonky Fries = Poutine


Those of us holding Bucky Badger close to our fat-soaked hearts want to know, where does Eat Wonky get squeaky cheese then?? Curds? Curds? Got to get me some curds! Will they taste as good when the air does not smell like a summer lake? I’m guessing no, doncha know.

I’ll take a brandy old-fashioned and a beer chaser to wash it down. Ya hey.

(Not to burst my own great-lakes-size bubble, but that so-called squeaky cheese looks a heck of a lot like chopped up cheesesticks. Say it isn’t so.)


Read more here.

Thanks much to Mike at ComicsDC!

Toast Poast Number 117

many thanks to Russ Merbeth for the pocket toast teller toon.
where he got it at the drop of a slice – butter side up! – I will never know.

Toast has been on my mind lately for many, many reasons. Is it the quintessential comfort food? As much as I go to toast for nourishment and comfort, there are a few other foods that wrap their arms around me first when I am in need. That said, I tried out toast as a well-spring of nurturance, late night, needed something to sooth, and the toast delivered, stealthfully, quietly, a bit crunchy and a bit tender. I ordered it with butter on the side and was served buttered toast with a side of butter. What could lubricate a person’s warmth and inner peace more?

Toast Poast Lucky Number 9

TOAST

We may pay lip service to seared tuna on a bed of rocket…but given the choice most of us would go for scrambled egg on a bed of toast any day of the week. Nick Parker

I wouldn’t go so far as to say all of life can be summed up by a slice of toast, but close. Close enough.

(A little old lady stands up at the general meeting of her retirement center, holds up a fist and announces loudly, “Whoever can guess what I have in my hand gets to spend the night with me.” “An elephant?” shouts a smart aleck codger from the back of the room. “Close enough,” says she.)

How does your bread absorb soft butter?  Synergetically, with sympatico, consanguinely? Before you spread your buttered heart onto the slice of his soul enlist your inner enginerd to double check the absorption capacity for alignment. Make a mass/volume estimation. Are you spatially related? Voluminously? The putting in and taking out equates mathematically, as in 1 = 1.  Every bit of crumb open and airy and hungry. Unlimited capacity. Not a spot of grease released onto the napkin.

Double Trouble

Introducing, unveiling, a post I started a while back, and it was so big and loopy and all over the place that I could not wrap it into a nice, neat post, or anything close to that. So I am posting it now anyway, because the KFC double down is not news anymore. Not today’s, not yesterday’s, not last week’s. You would have to time travel with a large amount of absolute technology to find the KFC sandwich that defies bread. Whatever.

Highlights include:
Industrial bacon and a sauce of unknown origin. In the hand, it feels like a greasy paperweight. This is not a guilty pleasure. More like an endurance test.
Too bad chewing isn’t better exercise.

If you can call a
double meat-patty a sandwich, rather than just a pile of food.

Springfield’s Horseshoe Sandwiches Deliver a Kick in the Gut
Illinois Capital Keeps Upping Caloric Ante; One Local Delicacy Equals Five Big Macs

by decent e » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:13 pm

I’ve eaten one or two of those. I mostly stayed away, but I knew people who would order them on a regular basis. This was mostly in southern Illinois. The horseshoe definitely made its way down toward St. Louis from Springfield, but I guess they’re still more common up that way.

Bread, meat, a pile of fries, all covered with cheese sauce pretty much describes the ones I saw. The meat could be almost anything though. Hamburger patty might’ve been the most common, but I even saw some kind of weird processed turkey being used – I guess that was supposed to be the “healthy” option!

by Buck Stopshere » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:47 pm

I guess the St. Louis “Slinger” is some derivative of the horseshoe.
Hamburger patty.
Hash Browns.
2 Eggs.
Covered with chili, grated cheese, and chopped onions.
Brian

decent e » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:59 pm

Never tried a Slinger. Even ate at the Eat-Rite and the Courtesy a time or two, but couldn’t bring myself to order one of those.

My favorite food monstrosity was a thing I found near the outskirts of Champaign, IL called a “Haystack”. If I remember right, it was a hamburger patty with cheese, covered with home fries, and then sausage gravy over the whole thing.

Yeah, looks like size matters when it comes to horseshoes.
Not so with Slingers.
They seem to be relatives in some way though.
I remember Mark Spencer tellin’ me about the
“Hot Hamburg”, from his native Vermont area.
Seemed like a distant relative, some kinda hamburger, open faced on white bread, with peas, brown gravy, and maybe somethin’ else?
Mashed potatoes?
I’m not even certain about the peas.
Maybe Creston could elaborate?
Slingers, Hot Hamburgs, Horseshoes.
All meals, fully covered in some kinda somethin’.
Mark Spencer fell madly for the Slinger, I remember one time I was on the road, as the “opening act”, with him and Jay Farrar, we went to a grocery store, bought the ingredients, and Mark made them, in a hotel room (that had a kitchen…), in Los Angeles, for a Super Bowl party we threw for ourselves.
We bought a Superbowl cake an’ everything.
There are photos of that party somewhere.
Just the 3 of us.
Probably within’ spittin’ distance of Andrea’s apartment, we were walkin’ distance from the Knitting Factory.
I remember we got on Mark’s computer, and tried to find some local inflatable Beer/Superbowl themed party chairs we could buy.
Never found any, but, we had SLINGERS!
Brian

decent e » Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:52 am

Speaking of culinary monstrosities, remember when we were talking about the KFC sandwich that has a “bun” made of chicken? Well, its coming soon and its got a freakin’ countdown clock:

KFC’s Bacon Sandwich On Fried Chicken “Bread” Starts Killing People Nationwide April 12
The Consumerist

decent e » Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:41 am

Here’s another “sandwich monstrosity” I ran across online. Apparently inspired by something served at a restaurant in Virginia.
The Hamburger Fatty Melt, a Burger with Two Grilled Cheese Sandwiches as Its Bun

Hot Rod Girl Tue Apr 20, 2010 9:17 am

Ms. Snack, there is a restaurant/bar up the street from us whose menu is largely made up of grilled cheese sandwich variations. It’s called the 44th Ward Dinner Party. Overpriced, but tasty.

And they do understand the first rule of grilled cheese sandwiches, which is that they MUST be cut on the diagonal. PBJs, on the other hand, must be cut straight across. That’s just the way it is done.

KFC Double Down Success?

(Bread)Breaking News 2

Sandwich thief leaves cash behind.

I think Subway might take more issue with this accompanying photo of what appears to be a bacon buddy then they would to the “sandwich thief.” Image, after all, is everything, if you are Subway, where substance is ephemeral.
A burglar took sandwiches, but left the store's cash behind

US police have said a burglar broke into a Subway store and proceeded to help himself to a selection of cold cuts to make sandwiches, but left the store’s cash behind.

Sergeant Lori Lavorato said the thief got inside the shop in Iowa through a drive-up window on Saturday night or Sunday morning.

Ms Lavorato added that the burglar made some sandwiches and took a significant amount of cold cut meats, bread and cookies, but that he failed to find the store’s cash, which was hidden.

Police have no suspects.

Well, of course he left the cash, he was a sandwich thief!!

Read more: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/breaking-news/offbeat/sandwich-thief-leaves-cash-behind-14819194.html#ixzz0oz0mE8qs

Another version, slight variation:

A burglar took sandwiches, but left the store’s cash behind

DES MOINES, Iowa — Des Moines police are investigating a sandwich heist at a Subway restaurant.

Authorities say someone broke into the shop on Saturday night or Sunday morning and took a “substantial amount” of cold cut meats. They also took bread and cookies and made some sandwiches before they left.

No money was taken, and police didn’t offer an estimated value on the missing food.

Investigators believe the burglars broke in through the drive-up window and removed a security cage.

Police have no suspects.

A sandwich heist! Count me in. Count on me for no estimated value. Count down to cold cuts. Cold cuts are down for the count when it comes to a heist. Count me in. Count me down. I’m down with the heist! There’s no accounting for a person discounting, down counting, counting down on the estimated value of a cold cut heist. On no account!

Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from My Appliance Repairman


Caracas Arepas Bar in NYC

I have been by this joint, Caracas Arepas Bar in NYC – I took this barely adequate snapshot – but I have not been inside, nor eaten their fare. Headed back from Porchetta on E. 7th and staggering with satisfaction, Caracas Arepa Bar rose up behind the line of parked cars and I snapped it for future reference.

Arepas are close cousins to sandwiches, and they are something I have only eaten in my own kitchen. Other than that, my sole arepa experience is the smell of them wafting onto the street in the East Village. Next time we will approach this street from the Caracas end, rather than the Porchetta end, although I may have to eat twice.

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Mike, of ComicsDC, turned me on to this arepas tale penned by one of my favorite food writers, Jonathan Kauffman, who most certainly does not need a recommendation from little young me.

Arepas on the Run

A South American sandwich full of flavor, or just plain full.

By Jonathan Kauffman
Wednesday, Jul 7 2010

In the taxonomy of sandwiches — the grinders and the pita pockets, the panini and the smørrebrød — there is one commonality that separates the sandwich from all other classes in the handheld food phylum: the bread. The Venezuelan arepa thus ends up in limbo. A thick, soft corn cake, split like an English muffin and filled with almost anything, including cheese and vegetables, the arepa is the platypus of handheld foods — belonging to both the sandwich and the tortilla-pupusa classes.

Mr. Pollo, an Ecuadoran-Columbian arepas shop in San Francisco, is run by Mr. Angelo Vaca. I am already more than warm to the place purely because it has a Ecuadoran connection with a man named Vaca. In my mind, after a recent “appliance technician” experience, I am forever bound in spirit to a Mr. Vaca from Ecuador. My Mr. Vaca, Mr. Jofre Vaca, Fridgeman and Natural Healer.

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Up early. Open the fridge door and it feels…funny…tepid. Is it me or is it the fridge? Press my palm to the shelf for that cool impress and…nope…room temp, July room temp, like a warm swimming pool.

Sent a 7 am email and got an immediate response! The fridge guy could touch down later the same day in the two-hour window that suited me. Suited ME! Two prime hours when we could convene. A remarkably well-timed rendez vous.

He was an apparition, remarkably unremarkable in appearance, although surrounded by an aura of calm and capability. “I will need a large bowl,” he said. “And now a small plastic bag. And a large towel.”

Before too long the diagnosis was done. “Your refrigerator’s computer needs a part.” Computer?? Since when do fridges need computers?

“I can only be home on Saturday,” I said.

“I will be here on Saturday,” replied my angel of mercy.

Saturday?? O. Kay. You work on a day that is convenient for your customers? Really?? Bathe me in your aura. Blanket me in your vibe. Take me to your planet.

This man was no ordinary appliance repair guy. Oh no, he was so much more – not that repairing appliances is anything at which to sniff. He was…whoooosh, drum roll, rustle of angel wings…a fridgeopath. Sent to me from on high. Via four years of training in natural medicine in Ecuador. I know because he told me. I must have looked receptive. And desperate.

“Do you have someone to take care of you?”

“No.”

“Then you must take care of yourself,” he replied. “I studied natural medicine for four years in Ecuador. Let me see your hands.”

He examined the backs of my hands thoughtfully, stroking the lines of the veins professionally. This was a man with a nurturing fridgeside manner. My mind went empty, ready to absorb his wisdom.

“You need more massages.”

“I will take that as free license,” I answered.

“How do you sleep?” he asked with a knowing look in his eye. His answer was in my expression. “Drink linden tea. Tap the front of your shoulders like this, for better breathing.” He demonstrated on himself. Tap, tap, tap. My head lolled in relaxation just watching him.

I took Jofre Vaca’s advice to heart and to head, and into the hands of Silvia for reiki and massage. And I tapped – in the car, standing at the stove, lying in bed. Linden tea looks and smells like the flowers it is. Nice, like flowers. Like flowers at rest. I slept the sleep one sleeps when refrigerated.

Saturday arrived, Mr. Vaca arrived, just as promised, on the dot, computer part in hand. So he said. I did not see it, nor did I look. The proof was in the coldness of the glass shelf on my palm.

“You look much better,” he said, taking notice of my hands.

“I think the dishwasher will be on the fritz next week,” thought I.

Toast Poast Number Decalogue



Print by Richard Blackmore

Coveting butter has become more common than consummating breakfast with butter. Do we still eat toast or has the indulgence of crisp brownness been done away with by divine fiat, the science of bagels or the burden of commuting?