Past and Present Ami

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All photos by Deb Lindsey for the Washington Post.

Pastrami warrants ink. In DC. Hallelujah. Language is liquid and much of it, maybe most of it, is brackish. Pastrami. When did it start? Who thought it up? The story involves water, both salty and not, and travels a long loopy path to us.

How pastrami joints stack up in DC here.

Toast Poast Number 365

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Tastee Toaster Calendar

A cleverly designed paper toy calendar modeled after a beloved kitchen appliance and a “tastee” breakfast treat. Comes with 6 hand-lettered toast slices each featuring 2 months of the year (front & back). All components are printed on recycled paper, off-set printed with score lines for easy folding!

SIZE: 10 x 13 (before assembly) – 4.5 x 6 (after assembly)
PAPER: Recycled Card Stock

A Real Neal Meal

Screen Shot 2013-02-15 at 9.58.18 AMThe Southern Foodways Alliance, a hallowed outfit in this household, produces – on paper and electronically – a quarterly newsletter, Gravyread with relish by me religiously. Neither precious, nor breathless, nor kitschy, Gravy tells stories that orbit around food, a path that connects us all, rather than creating hierarchy,  competition or status.

Recently featured Neal’s Deli in Carrboro, NC, is a hop, skip and jump from Chapel Hill, a straight shot down 85 from DC, a drive just long enough to let a full-court-press appetite develop.

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All You Need is Toast ~ Poast Number 14

Toast ValentineLove turns bread into buttered toast. And love is heat.  And heat is the science of toast. Screen Shot 2013-02-12 at 8.36.57 AM Is love simply science? Methinks yes. It’s the KISS principle. Screen Shot 2013-02-12 at 8.43.13 AM Yes, do keep it simple, stupid. Love is so stupidly simple.

Toast, on the other side, the buttered side, is not. Or is it?Screen Shot 2013-02-12 at 8.44.16 AMScreen Shot 2013-02-12 at 8.44.25 AMAbout one-seventeenth, no more, no less. Simple. Now get on out there and spread the love, from F41 F to F441 in 0 to 60.

a+b=love respectively

Yes, Let’s!

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I don’t think it’s too  late to give/receive this utilitarian/decorative teatowel/calendar.

Stuffing clean dish towels into our kitchen drawer, I realize that there are certain things I will never need to buy or receive again in this lifetime – tea towels being one of them – and a ping of sadness registers in the homemaking heart valve. My inner Danish immigrant/ Wisconsin homesteader counsels against discarding perfectly good pieces of utilia such as discolored but intact dish towels in favor of the new and shiny. Have I not evolved beyond the lip-pursing, silent-agenda-screaming, vise-tight legacy of my ancestors? In the middle of the night, no. First thing on a fresh morning? Toss me that shiny new tea towel so I can dry these champagne flutes, would ya baby?!

Get yer sandwich merch here!

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Thank you, Vintage Planet Janet!

Word Scramble!

sandwichkermer

can you detangle it and make:

scniwde remarhk

the origin of the word that describes the color of our times

scnarhk

Haven’t blogged in eons. Been drained and deranged and my brain has been a scramble.

absolutely snarkfree. on a freefalling lark. back now. sorta. about as back as January is to June. Moving towards summer, but not noticeably. Not yet. Stay tuned, stay patient, hold the snark.

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS GET SNARKY REVENGE BY ILLUSTRATING CLIENT FEEDBACK

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 Any language that contains quips or comments containing sarcastic or satirical witticisms intended as blunt irony. Usually delivered in a manner that is somewhat abrupt and out of context and intended to stun and amuse.

From the mama of the baby cooke(s). Thank you(s).

Read This Book

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“It’s hard not to fall in love with My Korean Deli. First, it’s the (very) rare memoir that places careful, loving attention squarely on other people rather than the author. Second, it tells a rollicking, made-for-the-movies story in a wonderfully funny deadpan style. By the end, you’ll feel that you know the author and his family quite well — even though you may not be eager to move in with them.” Corby Kummer, New York Times, March 18, 2011
Read on here.

An excerpt concerning sandwiches follows.
Of course, Dwayne himself has ideas about what things should cost. For instance, not long after we bought the store, Dwayne told Gab that every sandwich had to have at least .37 pounds of meat.

“Point-three-seven?” said Gab. “According to who?”

“Everyone!” said Dwayne. “Just ask – a sandwich has to have point-three-seven pounds of meat. Otherwise it’s not a sandwich.”

A third of a pound of meat – Jesus, no wonder Dwayne’s sandwiches are so popular. With a third of a pound of meat – plus all the extra layers of cheese, toppings and vegetables Dwayne likes to throw on, all wrapped up in a freshly baked hero – you can feed a whold family, and at our store no one ever gets charged more than siz dollars (usually more lie five). Moreover, you get the added value of Dwayne’s performance. Dwyne likes to make sandwich-making sound like thunder, the way he karate-chops the paper off the roll, slams the refrigerator doors and tosses the serrated knife in the tme metal sink. His sandwiches look like if you luanched them on the East River, they would fail to pass beneath the Brooklny Bridge. Customers, unaward of the Pavolvian response he’s induced, pace bak and forth, eyes abulge, peeking tippy-toe over the counter They’re in a trance. By the time they get to the register they’ve lost the ability to speak andd can barely mumble “Howmuchizzit?” Sometimes they don’t even get bothe feet out on the sidewalk before they start tearing off the sandwich paper and eating like grizzle bears, trying to stretch their jaws around that enormous bun. If I were from the neighborhood I’d live on Dwayne’s sandwiches, especially now that it’s wintertime and the price of everything is going up. Ben Ryder Howe, My Korean Deli

Here is a snapshot of the actual deli Mr. Howe owned with his family.

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“Shopkeepers make good narrators because they’re passive and steady,” writes Ben Ryder Howe in his memoir, My Korean Deli: Risking It All for a Convenience Store. “Plus, in the end, something awful always happens to them.”

Howe knows from both narrators and shopkeepers: My Korean Deli follows Howe as he works days as an editor at The Paris Review and nights at his family’s Brooklyn deli. And Howe, though a fairly lousy shopkeeper, makes for an excellent narrator: His book is an engaging and funny tour of the down-and-dirty world of New York City small business, whether that business is an Upper East Side literary magazine (The Paris Review later moved downtown) or a Boerum Hill bodega.

Howe and his wife, Gab, bought the deli as a last-ditch effort to earn enough money to move out of Gab’s parents’ house in Staten Island (“New York’s pariah borough”). But the deli also serves as Gab’s way to give something back to her mother, Kay, a steely Korean immigrant devoted to hard work and hard truths. “What’s the matter?” she asks Howe, when he expresses his desire to own an upscale market rather than a downscale junk-food and phone-card emporium. “You not like money?” Dan Kois, NPR, March 9, 2011 Read more here.

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I Don’t Care to Belong to Any Club that Will Have Me (Unless It Is the Stephan Pastis Fan Club)

In which case I will be chief cheerleader, dedicated craft services provider, head pencil sharpener and pig Friday.Pearls When my son arrived from Korea, a close friend who does not have children said to me, “You are now a member of the biggest club in the world, the club of parents.” Actually, not to be nitpicky or anything but the absolute biggest club in the world is the world of children, seeing as everyone is a child, while not everyone is a parent. But then, to put an even finer point on it, what kind of club includes everyone? That is not a club, that is the human race. I do my best to be a good member, in spite of my reservations.

So yeah, if you want to join a club guaranteed to turn your heart to a super ball, bouncing to higher heights and lower lows than you ever thought possible, or than you would ever have wished, join the club of parents. You may think you have suffered, been in love, had your heart broken. That is kidstuff compared to the exquisite, excruciating pain of raising a child. That super ball does not bounce when it hits a surface, it shoots straight to the  core, a hot burning ball of love tracing a fiery path of ache. Stunningly accurate.

Over winter break we watched October Sky. As Homer Hickam descended for the first time into the coal mine on a dark, cold night he looked up to see Sputnik just passing overhead. “He’s going down when he wants to go up,” said my son. So it is sometimes when you hope to ascend with your child – a planned event, perfectly chosen gift, meal prepared for an occasion – and instead, your child takes you down, down, down to a place where you hunch, cover your head and mine for the strength to get through this with grace.

Toast Poast Number 2013

WHEE Toast

Fly high in 2013. Keep your toaster in view, the stick of butter at room temperature and your plate prepared to catch sustenance.

Many thanks, Along-for-the-Ride Heidi. I don’t want to travel alone.

Tastes So Darn Good

BLTs Taste So Darn Good

As the earth of 2012 makes its final revolution I’m sighing with relief and simultaneously begging for more. May 2013 bring deeper, richer and lighter-on-the-toes enjoyment of every sandwich to everyone.
Much love from Midnight Snack

Pink

Ode to Pork by Kevin Young

I wouldn’t be here
without you. Without you
I’d be umpteen
pounds lighter & a lot
less alive. You stuck
round my ribs even
when I treated you like a dog

dirty, I dare not eat.
I know you’re the blues
because loving you
may kill me—but still you
rock me down slow
as hamhocks on the stove.
Anyway you come
fried, cued, burnt
to within one inch
of your life I love. Babe.
I revere your every nickname—bacon, chitlin,
cracklin, sin.

Some call you murder,
shame’s stepsister—
then dress you up
& declare you white
& healthy, but you always
come back, sauced, to me.
Adam himself gave up
a rib to see yours
piled pink beside him.
Your heaven is the only one
worth wanting—
you keep me all night
cursing your four-
letter name, the next
begging for you again.

Thank you Charcoal-Chicken-Jon for sending.