Fix me a plate, wouldya honey?

Is fixing a plate a thing of the past? Just had dinner with my friend Jane who kindly handed me a plate of watermelon, already cut up and ready for forking. Not too long ago I was lucky enough to be her houseguest and she fixed me breakfast. On a plate. No decisions for me to make. I felt so, well, taken care of.

I don’t know about you, but buffets make me shudder. My preference is to have someone “fix me a plate”. I’ll eat it and be glad, whatever it is. The same applies to daunting hams, mountains of rolls, lolling condiments. Could you just fix me a sandwich, honey?

Brian Henneman, frontman for the Bottlerockets (my favorite band, in case I haven’t already bent your ear on that), claims the best sandwich can be the “random sandwich”. That is, a sandwich that is just handed to you. Something someone put together from the ghastly deli platter. It tastes much better if you do not know its contents.

In Brian’s words:
Sandwiches are funny things. One time, Eric Ambel brought up a sandwich fact, that is absolutely true…
The best sandwich, can oftentimes be one that somebody else made, and just hands to you.
You don’t even know what’s on it.
Usually happens at family functions, or, sports parties.
Hungry? Here ya go…
The random sandwich rocks!
I am a sandwich masochist sometimes. Occasionally, I’ll really enjoy the shitty, bologna and American cheese, on white bread, that you get at a gas station, in the little triangular container.
I’ll just eat it straight from the refrigerator, cold, with no condiments at all.
This is always best when travelling late at night.
In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had one in the daylight.
Being an Atkins guy, I don’t eat a whole lot of sandwiches, but, I do every now and then.
I like them best if I don’t dwell on them too much.
It’s the “random sandwich” thing…

Personally, I’ve never had the guts to eat a gas station sandwich. I do like to look at them though, through the glass and the cellophane.